Much has been written about the rise in loneliness among kids, teens, and adults. Former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness an epidemic, leading to public health issues such as addiction, violence, depression and anxiety. As we become more connected via social media and technology, we find ourselves increasingly alone. In his book Together: the Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Murthy describes our world as one that emphasizes the individual, leading to a further breakdown of social connections. In children, the impact is severe, as studies have shown that 40% of kids experience mild to moderate loneliness, and 10% feel severely alone. New York Times writer Kathryn Jezer-Morton recently wrote about the challenges of parenting a lonely child – seeing a child feeling left out or apart from a social group is both painful and worrisome. And as we know, it is difficult as a parent to create a friend group or force a social interaction for a child or teen.
So, what do we do? Murthy highlights three factors that help decrease loneliness: relationships, service, and community. Similarly, Jezer-Morton recommends changing the environment and stimuli for kids – expose them to new situations, activities, and people. In other words, they both focus on being with others, giving to others, and finding connection.
Few things accomplish these goals more than overnight camps and teen programs. At camp, kids are surrounded by peers and are encouraged to try new activities, take an appropriate risk, feel the healing power of nature, and hone their social skills in a positive, nurturing, screen-free environment. Not all kids are right for every camp, but there is a camp for every kid. Teen programs like a wilderness trip or cultural immersion encourage community, teamwork, and growth in a new setting or culture. Service trips help teens be part of something bigger than themselves. And all overnight camps and teen programs can help a kid find new friends and take a break from school-year social and academic pressures.
Can camp cure loneliness? I’m not sure, but I know it’s worth a try. Tips on Trips and Camps advisors are here to help your child find the right overnight camp, trip, or academic experience. And maybe feel a little less lonely too.
The data is clear – young men and boys are struggling. They lag girls in school, with lower GPAs, graduation rates, and levels of college matriculation. They are also more likely to lack social connections. Later in life, young men report more loneliness, lower rates of participation in the workforce, and saddest of all, higher levels of suicide than women of the same age. On their podcast Lost Boys, hosts Scott Galloway and Anthony Scaramucci delve deep into the causes of the crisis and speak to several thought leaders on what can be done to support young men and boys. Their first guest, Richard Reeves, author of Of Boys and Men, highlights the lack of strong male role models as a key element of the problem.
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There is a sign that hangs in our summer cottage that reads, “If you get lost, come straight back to camp.” The quote is attributed to L.L. Bean, who posted this directive on the wall of his own hunting camp in Northern Maine in the early 1900s. I am reminded of it as the kids go back to school and the memories of camp slowly begin to be replaced by classes, sports commitments, and the rhythms of the fall schedule.
My 14-year old loves creating “countdowns” on her phone: the countdown to spring break, her birthday, the release of the new Taylor Swift album, etc. But the longest countdown by far, the one she begins months and months ahead of time, is her countdown to sleepaway camp. Though the countdown technically starts the day she comes home from camp each summer, it really begins in earnest on New Year’s Day. At that point, there are nearly 200 days until the start of camp, and cold days with little light don’t feel much like a beautiful summer day on the lake. But weekly check-ins with camp friends, mementos from last summer on her bulletin board, and the friendship bracelets that are still on her wrist remind her that camp is never really that far away.
In his latest book “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness,” Jonathan Haidt explores the rise of anxiety in children and teens. Haidt details many factors contributing to increased anxiety and a decline in youth mental health, and points to two key issues: 1. a lack of unstructured play and appropriate risk-taking, and 2. the rise of technology and widespread use of smart phones. As parents, we know his observations are true. Kids are on their phones too much and missing out on real connections with their peers. As a result, we are raising more anxious, lonely, and depressed kids. Despite these disturbing trends, Haidt is hopeful and prescribes four key solutions we can implement as a community:
