My daughter has a sign in her room that reads “What Happens at Camp Stays at Camp” – it’s been in her room since she found it at a kitschy store in New Hampshire on a camp visiting day when she was 10 years old. She’s 19 now, and the sign hasn’t moved, even when she’s left for summers as a counselor at the same camp and for college last year. It’s a reminder to me that even though I’ve heard so many camp stories over the years and know her camp friends from frequent visits during the school year, it’s a part of her life that I really don’t know much about. And that’s a good thing.
With social media, tracker apps, and cameras recording their every move, it’s easier than ever for a parent to know almost every detail of a child’s life. In an increasingly scary world, it’s comforting to see where a child is and what he or she is doing. But a break from this constant surveillance is good for everyone – parent and child. Some camps provide a daily photo upload or a weekly newsletter, while others only post a few pictures on social media or nothing at all. These photos can give a glimpse of life at camp and comfort a nervous parent. But they only tell part of the story – the real magic of camp happens outside of these moments, when kids are together without phones and other distractions.
The inside jokes, the silly songs, the wacky traditions, the friendships that form at a pace not possible in the outside world – in other words, all the things that could only make sense at camp – belong only to the kids. As parents, we are outsiders to this world, which can be difficult to accept. However, giving a child something they can truly call their own is so important at a time when their lives are so controlled, scheduled, and recorded. Camp and other overnight summer programs can be that one thing that just belongs to your child, and Tips on Trips and Camps can help you find the right one. What happens at camp, stays at camp…and that’s a good thing!
Much has been written about the rise in loneliness among kids, teens, and adults. Former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has called loneliness an epidemic, leading to public health issues such as addiction, violence, depression and anxiety. As we become more connected via social media and technology, we find ourselves increasingly alone. In his book Together: the Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, Murthy describes our world as one that emphasizes the individual, leading to a further breakdown of social connections. In children, the impact is severe, as studies have shown that 40% of kids experience mild to moderate loneliness, and 10% feel severely alone. New York Times writer Kathryn Jezer-Morton recently wrote about the challenges of parenting a lonely child – seeing a child feeling left out or apart from a social group is both painful and worrisome. And as we know, it is difficult as a parent to create a friend group or force a social interaction for a child or teen.
The data is clear – young men and boys are struggling. They lag girls in school, with lower GPAs, graduation rates, and levels of college matriculation. They are also more likely to lack social connections. Later in life, young men report more loneliness, lower rates of participation in the workforce, and saddest of all, higher levels of suicide than women of the same age. On their podcast Lost Boys, hosts Scott Galloway and Anthony Scaramucci delve deep into the causes of the crisis and speak to several thought leaders on what can be done to support young men and boys. Their first guest, Richard Reeves, author of Of Boys and Men, highlights the lack of strong male role models as a key element of the problem.
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There is a sign that hangs in our summer cottage that reads, “If you get lost, come straight back to camp.” The quote is attributed to L.L. Bean, who posted this directive on the wall of his own hunting camp in Northern Maine in the early 1900s. I am reminded of it as the kids go back to school and the memories of camp slowly begin to be replaced by classes, sports commitments, and the rhythms of the fall schedule.
My 14-year old loves creating “countdowns” on her phone: the countdown to spring break, her birthday, the release of the new Taylor Swift album, etc. But the longest countdown by far, the one she begins months and months ahead of time, is her countdown to sleepaway camp. Though the countdown technically starts the day she comes home from camp each summer, it really begins in earnest on New Year’s Day. At that point, there are nearly 200 days until the start of camp, and cold days with little light don’t feel much like a beautiful summer day on the lake. But weekly check-ins with camp friends, mementos from last summer on her bulletin board, and the friendship bracelets that are still on her wrist remind her that camp is never really that far away.
